she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Randomize
