Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
party gras won. party gras always wins.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
