And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
