Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
