Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
