This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
