he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
