and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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