I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
