Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
