Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
