I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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