it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
