Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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