You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
