she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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