Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
