Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
