What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
