Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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