If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
