I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
