Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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