Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
