i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
