I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My vagina is officially offended.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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