I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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