rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Randomize
