I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
