Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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