would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Randomize
