I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
