Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
