There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
