Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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