I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
