is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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