Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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