She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
