I just saw a hot homeless man
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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