Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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