I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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