i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
