Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
