bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
