i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
what day is it and did you see me today?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
