I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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