The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
