Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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