im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
