do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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