fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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