I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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