i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
