she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
