So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
