she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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