Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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