It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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